“The Power of Choosing Yourself: Lessons from My Mother’s Bold Pursuit of Purpose”

One of the most important lessons my mother ever taught me was the value of self-fulfillment over self-betrayal. When I was just five years old (almost six) and my sister was four, my mother was offered a tenure-track faculty position at Wake Forest University in North Carolina. The offer more than doubled her salary at the University of New Orleans and came with the prestige of being recruited by renowned faculty members, including the legendary Maya Angelou. It was an exciting opportunity—but it also came with significant challenges.

At the time, my dad was an entrepreneur with a thriving business rooted in the New Orleans region, where we lived. Uprooting his company wasn’t an option. Faced with this crossroads, my mom made a bold decision. In 1988, she accepted the offer, packed up her two young daughters in a Mazda 626, and we moved to North Carolina. My parents established a commuter marriage, remaining committed to each other while pursuing their respective career goals in separate states.

We only lived in Winston-Salem for two years—a blink in time as I reflect back on it as an adult. However, those two years were transformative for my mother. When we returned home to New Orleans, she came back inspired and energized, ready to channel her experiences into something groundbreaking.

When we first moved back to New Orleans, my mom had taken a one-year sabbatical from Wake Forest University. Shortly after, she founded the first environmental justice center in the United States. This marked the beginning of her lifelong dedication to environmental justice for marginalized communities—a mission that has defined her entire career. She used sabbatical, not to rest, but to envision and build what would become the Deep South Center for Environmental Justice, Inc. She became an institution builder, imagining a world that didn’t yet exist and then setting out to create it. I believe that had my mother not taken those two years to step away from the comfort of the life she knew in her hometown of New Orleans and her tenured full professor position at the University of New Orleans—and faced the discomfort of her ambition calling for more—she might not have found the inspiration and intellectual space to create what has become her life’s work.

My mom has always been ambitious and career-driven. She is an incredible woman who happened to be a wife and a mother, but those roles never consumed or defined her. The example she set for my sister and I, through her decision to pursue her own ambitions, was powerful. She showed us that we could one day become wives and mothers without allowing those roles to overshadow our individual dreams and aspirations. Her journey taught us that choosing self-fulfillment isn’t selfish—it’s essential to living a life of purpose and impact. By choosing herself, my mother not only honored her own ambitions but also expanded her capacity to be an even more present and loving mother and wife.