Healing in Community: Exploring the Superwoman Schema with Geaux Girl Giving

Last week, I had the privilege of facilitating a discussion about the superwoman schema for an incredible organization called Geaux Girl Giving. Being in the company of Black women was profoundly healing for me as the facilitator. I felt seen and understood as the women in the room shared their own challenges with navigating the superwoman schema.

Understanding Stereotype Threat

Stereotype threat occurs when a Black person fears that their behavior might confirm a negative stereotype about their social group. This fear can impair performance, lead to physical and mental exhaustion, and decrease self-esteem and self-concept. Black women often contend with racist and sexist archetypes, including:

• Jezebel: Originating in the 1800s, this archetype portrays Black women as lustful and lewd, the polar opposite of the “Virtuous White Woman.” The Jezebel stereotype justified the sexual exploitation of Black women during slavery.
• Mammy: This stereotype depicts Black women as matronly, unattractive caregivers for white families, rooted in the history of slavery in the United States. The Mammy figure is dark-skinned, heavy-set, and often seen wearing an apron and handkerchief.
• Sapphire: The Sapphire stereotype characterizes Black women as domineering and aggressive, often emasculating Black men. In the 21st century, this stereotype manifests as the “angry Black woman” trope.

These negative archetypes are a function of white supremacy and systemic racism. In an effort to protect ourselves from these harmful stereotypes being mapped onto us, the superwoman schema emerged.  Black women have incredible capabilities, but pushing past our capacity without proper resources of support does not go without consequence to our physiological and psychological health.

The Superwoman Schema

The superwoman schema refers to the cultural expectation that Black women must present themselves as strong, self-reliant, and caretaking, often at the expense of their own health and well-being. Key characteristics include:

• A perceived obligation to be strong or demonstrate strength
• Resistance to vulnerability or accepting help
• Motivation to succeed despite limited resources or support
• Prioritization of caregiving over self-care

While the superwoman schema can be a source of strength, it also places an additional burden on Black women, contributing to allostatic load and exacerbating the effects of weathering. This schema dehumanizes Black women by demanding exceptional performance in every aspect of life and denying the freedom to be true to oneself.

This schema robs us of our humanity, because it requires us to show up exceptionally in every aspect of life. It requires that we tell ourselves that we are unworthy if we do not show-up this way. It ushers in self-betrayal and offers no space for self-compassion. It robs us of the freedom to be our true selves, stripping away our authenticity and preventing us from meeting our own needs. We must be well to effectively advocate for humanity.

Our resilience is defined by our privilege to access the resources of support that promote resilience, like supportive relationships, emotional intelligence, coping skills, access to quality healthcare, access to quality education, safe housing, a sense of purpose, etc…Failures across these systems exacerbate vulnerability and decrease our capacity to recover from difficulties and challenges.

Our emotional well-being is a complex system. And while we can be very intentional about creating barriers to protect our emotional well-being, sometimes our complex system of protective factors still get disrupted by horizontal and vertical life stressors and exacerbate our vulnerability. When this happens, we lose our ability to successfully handle life’s stresses and adapt to change and difficult times.

Undoing the Superwoman Schema

In the 1960’s, the term self-care became popularized, among the lay public, during the Civil Rights Movement. The women of the Black Panther party and Black feminist writers were elevating the importance of self-care as an act of prioritizing their health and wellness. Self-care was being used as a tool to serve as a buffer to the adverse physiological and psychological effects of racism and sexism. It was born out of the exhaustion associated with racism-based traumatic stress.

• Microaggressions: Daily, subtle, and often unintentional insults or dismissals that can accumulate and cause significant emotional harm.
• Overt Racism: Direct and explicit acts of racial discrimination and violence.
• Systemic Inequities: Structural and institutional biases that limit access to resources

Undoing the superwoman schema, will require Black women to embrace real self-care and community care. Real self-care, as discussed by Dr. Pooja Lakshim, involves setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, aligning with personal values, and carving out time for personal growth and development. Some practical steps include:

• Setting Boundaries: Learn to deal with guilt and reclaim your time by setting boundaries, even if it is uncomfortable for those who benefit from your lack of boundaries.
• Practicing Self-Compassion: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself and strive to show up as a more healed version of yourself.
• Exercising Power: Carve out time for your own personal growth and development, such as learning a new skill or hobby.
• Community Care: Care for yourself and plant the seeds of care within your community. Self-care is ineffective if the people in your life aren’t on board.

Creating Spaciousness in our lives (-Alex Elle)

• In what areas do you desire more space…
  • Heart?
  • Physical?
  • Mental?
  • Emotional?
• Where is there clutter? What’s getting in the way?

Creating Joy in our lives (- Alex Elle)

• What does joy look like to you (small moments of joy)?
• Find happiness in present moments…we don’t always have to schedule our joy, we can experience joy right now.

Healing Through Support (Dr. Mariel Buque)

• Share your experiences with someone who understands your identity and struggles. Allowing others to support us, based on shared identity and experiences, can be profoundly healing.
• Begin with small requests for help, teaching ourselves to accept assistance. This process taps into our brain’s ability to rewire itself through new experiences, learning that it’s okay to receive support. This can be a really hard one. Try creating a list in the notes section of your phone and adding to it as you remember all the areas of life where you need help. The next time someone asks how they can help you, refer to your list.
• Express a need to someone and let them fulfill it. Allowing others to meet our needs fosters reciprocity in relationships, reinforcing the idea that we deserve to receive as much as we give.
• Reveal parts of yourself that you’ve kept hidden for fear of rejection. Letting people fully know you strengthens bonds and builds quality relationships through transparency.

As Dr. Anna Julia Cooper famously said, “Only the BLACK WOMAN can say when and where I enter in the quiet undisputed dignity of my womanhood, without violence or special patronage; then and there the whole Negro race enters with me.” Black women carry so much and often feel the need to represent the entire race. By undoing the superwoman schema and embracing both self-care and community care, we can begin to heal and advocate for humanity more effectively.